The S.I.R.U. Papers

In order to get my life back I will need to follow…the S.I.R.U. Papers

San Antonio Sasquatch

Dec2

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Posted 9 months ago at 1:49 am.

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Episode 6 – Neanderthal

almas

Max sat quiet for a while looking at several files, “The way I see it you’ve got two plans of attack: first, go find a cryptid, something spectacular that will get you back in the light.  Or you find one of the agents listed in these reports.”

“How would I do that?  This is a secret organization…?”

“Glenn wasn’t a secret.  My guess is that this group looks for zoologists and others to recruit, then keeps their other activities off the books.  That allows them to use the best zoologists not only to find their animals but discredit anyone else who tries to prove their sightings.  All that being said I still think you need to find and capture one of these things alive to use as leverage…but I don’t think this is one you’ll be able to use.”

Max hands me a memo labeled “Homo Neanderthalis” it’s only a single sheet of paper and comes from Director Krohn to Glenn. 

Glenn,

Thank you for your comments on the possible existence of Neanderthals in South America.  The Maricoxi are an intriguing prospect, though many feel that Percy Fawcett’s 1914 encounter is insufficient evidence to mount the type of expedition needed to verify their existence.  To date many of the reports used to support the existence of a relic Neanderthal population is sketchy at best.  Not only is it hard to believe that Neanderthal migrated to South America it is uncertain it is unlikely that any testing we could perform in the field would verify that they are indeed a relic population.  While we are convinced that the European legends of Trolls originate from contact with Neanderthals and that it is likely a population still exists in the Caucasus Mountains to Southern Mongolia we need only to look at the Zana incident to see how difficult it will be to verify their existence.

You may not be aware that we have received genetic tests back from the samples we collected from Zana’s children (it is hard to find Zana’s grave as she lived one hundred and sixty years ago).  The results came back as normal which has one several meanings:

1)      We got the wrong children. 

2)       Zana was human and not an Almas.

3)      There has been continual interbreeding between humans and Almas meaning that the extant population is diluted too much from its original genetic profile to be considered Neanderthal.

4)      Perhaps the disturbing, Neanderthal is human, not a separate species as we believe.

There are several agents who believe that Neanderthal represents the possibility of a broader variance in human populations than we have typically believed.  If this is true then verifying the Maricoxi maybe impossible without bringing back a specimen either alive or dead and that is made more difficult by the noted aggression demonstrated by the Maricoxi.  In your own proposal you stated the need for at least ten highly armed military or mercenaries as escorts.  I’m sorry, Glenn, but at this time we do not have the resources to dedicate to this endeavor.

“Tom, maybe you should leave these monkeys alone and focus on animals that might be more local?”

“Like what?”

“How about the Chupacabra?”

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Posted 9 months ago at 3:23 pm.

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Out of Place Animals and Uncle Max

OOPA

Four hours on the road and Max agreed to meet me at Armstrong park, after what happened between us I guess I should feel lucky.  As I wait I notice a small flock of Quaker Parrots hopping around a radio antennae.  I can’t help but think that they are a part of what my life has become.  They are not native to Texas but Argentina, clearly a breeding pair got loose from some owner and they decided to take up residence in this park, not terribly exciting but they aren’t suppose to be here.  This is not their native environment, Duncanville gets hotter and drier than Argentina, it gets colder in the winter than Argentina, and the food supply is wrong…yet they thrive.  Though they are known animals they are technically cryptids… I believe the term is “out of place animals”…seems like all cryptids are “out of place” or maybe more like “out of time”.  Most of these animals seem to be holdovers from epochs gone by, they should not continue to exist, and yet they do.           

“Howdy, Tom.”  I hear Max’s smoke-stained voice from behind me.  “I see you’ve found our parrots.”

“Yeah, there seems to be a dozen or so individuals.  It’s strange, I was just noting that they don’t belong here but they are doing great.  They all seem to be about 10 percent bigger than the average Quaker parrot, while not freakishly large it does show the group has established its own genetic profile.”

“Y’know, before they went extinct, there used to be parrots native to Texas and New Mexico.  Maybe it isn’t all that strange that these parrots are doing so well, just ‘cuz the parrots that were here are gone doesn’t mean these parrots shouldn’t do well in the same place.”

“You’re talking about filling a niche.”  I’ve always underestimated Max’s intelligence.  He comes across as pure blue-collar but he reads Hebrew, Greek, and Latin while speaking three others.

“You didn’t drive five hours to talk about lost pets and niches…and from your tone I don’t figure you want to apologize.”

“Well, I should apologize, the things I said were unfair and unkind…”

“Water under the bridge, kid, what’s with the box?”

The parrots all take flight, swing around the radio antennae, and pass overhead in a very tight formation.  Their squawking fades away to silence, “This box has ruined my life.  It’s full of reports and DNA tests and accounts of animals that I’ve spent my entire life believing were hoaxes and urban myths.  Things that were only believed by the gullible and the ignorant.”

“Like me?”

“Yeah…like you.”  I go through the whole bloody story, about Glenn working for SIRU, about how they’ve been covering up discoveries, how they killed Glenn, and how they ruined my life.  I can’t even look at him, this man practically helped raise me and five years ago I go off yelling about how stupid and ignorant I think he is for believing the things he does.  And now here I am with a box full of my own ignorance, needing his help.

“Not easy being thought of as crazy, is it?  Still it does explain why you’re holding that hog-leg so tight.”

“You can see it?”

“Yup, but I’ve been around the block a couple of times….which also makes me think you’re wrong.  I don’t think anyone is out to kill you.”  He takes the hominid file out of the box.

“But Glenn..”

“…was working WITH SIRU, right?  And SIRU has spent the last hundred years covering up big discoveries right?  Is it possible that Glenn sent this to you as a way of redeeming himself?  That perhaps he actually committed suicide?  Look, if this group was used to killing people you’d already be dead, they wouldn’t have sent your dean to get that box back.  They would have simply waited for you to go home and kill you in your house then break into your office at school.  I don’t think they want you dead, so relax.”

“Look, I knew Glenn and he would never…”

“Did you know he was working to cover up what could be the most important discoveries of the last century?”

“……”

“Yeah… look, kid, I don’t envy your position.  You’re in a tight spot and I’m not saying not to keep the gun on you because ‘not wanting you dead’ can turn into ‘not wanting you dead, YET’ pretty quick.  I’m just saying you need to relax and stop looking over your shoulder or you’re going to go nuts.  Secondly, even if you prove the existence of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster you’ll never go back to the way things were.  SIRU has locked you out of academia and they will do your best to continue to suppress you.  They have a vested interest in keeping this quiet, we don’t know why, but they do and they have been doing this for a long time.”

“So what do you think I should do?”

“Cowboy-up and do it anyway.  Things like this work themselves out…if you do the work.  So what is a Mande Burung?”

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Posted 9 months, 2 weeks ago at 2:30 am.

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Proto Pygmy

ProtoPygmy

I’ve spent the last hour on the floor, in a corner of my hotel room, I’m using the one I chair I have to secure the door….if I’m going to save my life and get my career back I need a plan….I’ll need some kind of physical evidence to support the existence of a cryptozoological creature, and while a Sasquatch or Swamp Ape would clearly be enough to do that I’m not certain that hunting a creature that is 7ft,  600lbs of pure muscle is really that good of an idea.  Hmmmm….this might be interesting.  UNIDENTIFIED BIPEDAL PRIMATE 3 AKA: LEPRECHAUN / PROTO PYGMY / AGOGWII / ORANG PENDEK / TEH-LMA / BATUTUT / NITTAEWO / BONDEGEZOU.  Wait, “Leprechaun”?  What could possibly account for people seeing little green men with pots of gold?

SIRU claims that field agent Yannig Gioumard of Ireland has uncovered un-fossilized remains of homo floresiensis in Ireland?  The report also goes on to say that instead of dying out 13,000 years ago there was a relic population of homo floresiensis that survived until the 1700s being eventually wiped out either by hunting, loss of habitat, or the “ELE 5”.  I’m assuming this is reference to the little ice age, but why would the Maunder Minimum be considered an “Extinction Level Event”?  Anyhow, the researcher goes on to state that as the UBA 3 population in Ireland died out and no new sightings of the creature were made the stories became more and more fantastic.  The Leprechaun grew from being a small red, hairy person to being a fairy wearing a red fur coat, and eventually the color red was dropped all together to be replaced by green (the color of other wood sprites).  He suggests this evolution should be studied further by their historians to be used as a template for insights into other possible cryptids that went extinct in ELE 5. 

The researcher describes UBA 3 as a skilled hunter, using simple tools to hunt for birds and even sheep.  Their lairs have been found in small caves and burrows under large trees.  Researcher Gioumard states that while the Leprechaun population has gone extinct other proto pygmy groups still exist and deserve further investigation…leprechauns…I’d have bet good money they weren’t real. 

I need sleep, sleep and a plan.  As much as I hate the thought I could probably hide out with my crazy uncle Max….he lives in Duncanville just outside of Dallas, it’s a straight shot from where I am now and everyone knows we haven’t gotten along since…well, we don’t really mix.

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Posted 9 months, 3 weeks ago at 9:12 am.

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Skunk Ape

SkunkApe

I heard voices outside my hotel room a few minutes ago and now I can’t keep my hand off the pistol Wilson gave me…if the stress doesn’t drive me crazy reading about these files might.  They are called the “SKUNK  APE” and “MYAKKA APE” in Florida, the “YEREN” in China, and “SISEMITE” in Belize, but SIRU calls them “Unidentified Bipedal Ape 2”.  This seems to have been fairly controversial amongst the researchers as many of them felt that the existence of two bipedal relic ape populations in similar habitats (sometimes overlapping) to be too far-fetched.  This group preferred the theory that like
UBA 1 SA the differences these creatures posses from standard UBA 1 are merely cosmetic.  Director Krohn demanded that these creatures be treated as a separate species until proper DNA testing proved otherwise.  He apparently fell into the second group that believed the more pongid appearance of UBA 2 is a result of either being a more ancient form of Gigantopithecus with UBA 1 being more evolved or being an entirely different species. 

The behavior of UBA 2 is similar, if not down-right identical, to UBA 1.  They prefer wetter regions, they are extremely shy, they appear omnivorous, they communicate through chirps, whistles and tree knocking, they throw rocks, they are active mostly at night.  While many of the researchers used their behavior as support for being the same species as UBA 1, Krohn points out that most many of these behaviors are found in most great apes.  Krohn also notes that UBA 2 is far more apelike in appearance, often being compared to an Orangutan.  The tracks associated with UBA 2 also appear to have a semi-opposable “thumb” rather than the more humanlike tracks left by UBA 1.  The issue is further confused by the presence of tracks that seem to fall in between those normally associated with UBA 1 and UBA 2, seemingly hinting at the possibility of interbreeding between the two populations. 

Though musky odors have been associated with many encounters of UBA 1, the odors associated with UBA 2 tend to be stronger leaning more towards sulfur.  One researcher put forward the possibility that the unusual odor, hence “Skunk Ape”, could be a defense mechanism or even a scent gland used in finding a mate or marking its territory.  While the scent gland theory seemed to be taken seriously, the defense mechanism was not.  The report ends somewhat on the fence claiming that DNA tests would need to be run to conclusively prove how closely related to UBA 1 UBA 2 might be.

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Posted 9 months, 4 weeks ago at 11:44 am.

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Time for Dinner

Time for Dinner

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Posted 10 months ago at 12:42 pm.

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Chupie and Caddy

Chupie and Caddy

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Posted 10 months ago at 12:35 pm.

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